One Very Big Question

I suppose there have been a number of questions and months of discussion leading up to this, but it all boils down to one big event yesterday. But rather than belabor the story chronologically, here is the big news up front:

In the not-to-distant future, my lovely fiancee and I will be getting married (see later posts for details, or email me directly). It has been a long time in coming, and planning long before this, but we had held off on a formal announcement for reasons I will elaborate on in this post. We will also have a wedding state-side, TBA, for those family and friends who cannot make it to the center of Europe for our first one. Anyway, here's how it happened.

It has always been my intention to ask her father's blessing before formally proceeding with an official engagement, and this is not a question one asks over the internet or telephone. So seeing how this is the first chance I have had to meet her family, everything was waiting for the first domino to fall. Speaking of falling, I decided to ask him over a chess game, and just before we played, I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Unfortunately, this action disturbed a precariously perched brandy glass on the top rack of the dish dryer, and it succumbed to the pull of gravity. Smashing onto the counter below, I couldn't help but think of the Jewish tradition of breaking a glass at a wedding. However, you are typically supposed to do that after the wedding, not before.

Nonetheless, over a very long and intense chess match, I asked her father for his blessing on our marriage. Between what English he knows, and Vaida serving as translator for one bit of it, he told us with a smile, "Is no problem, your life, your love." He eventually went on to beat me at the chess game, but not until after a very long drawn out match. This much out of the way, it was on to find the right place to officially ask her.

Padlocks of all shapes, sizes, and ages, from generations of lovers
before us on the Užupio St. Bridge.

There is a Lithuanian tradition (and apparently Russian too) of taking padlocks, engraving both names on them, and locking it to an immovable object, usually a wrought-iron bridge, then casting the keys into the river below. One of the most well known places for this is the bridge into Užupis, the artistic district of Vilnius, which has actually declared itself an independent republic with its own constitution. I learned about this tradition from some travel literature Vaida brought me when we first began dating, and got her a brass padlock as my first birthday present to her. At the time, it was just a gesture of friendship, but now that we have finally gotten to Lithuania at this time in our life, we will finally lock it to the bridge immediately after our wedding.

However, I still hadn't found the place to officially ask her, having going through many different variations on how to "pop the question." The most recent idea had included a hot air balloon, but despite their popularity in Lithuania, they are an extravagant luxury best left to a more financially secure time of our life. I had settled on using locking the padlock to the bridge as the official engagement, but the engraver's shop was inexplicably closed, forcing me to find a different plan. But it seems God had an even better place in mind.

The 15th Century Belfry of St. John's Church and the old
Refectory.

Vilnius University, est. 1579 A.D., is her Alma Mater, and has a few features that even Bucknell University can't quite compare to. Among those, is St. John's Church and its towering belfry, dating back to somewhere around 1426 A.D. The 223 foot tall tower was just recently opened to visitors, and it was a sight to behold. Not only was it one of the most breathtaking views of an ancient city, it was undeniably the oldest structure I have even been in. It's moments like this when random verses from bible quizzing years ago are most  inconvenient and unwanted. I am referring to Luke 13:4 in case you are curious, but be warned, it will come back to bite you next time you are in a tall structure.

You have to squeeze up a small set of stairs at the foundation to get to the lift to the top, or you can take the stairs. As much as I would like to trust engineers, its a little nerve-wracking to trust your life to creaking wooden timbers, no matter how big they are. At least the lift had a reassuringly self supporting steel framework almost all the way to the top. However, to actually get on the very top, you again have to squeeze through twisting wooden stairs and an opening through in the ancient brick floor of the very top. But the view is worth it, and was clearly the moment to make everything official.

Actual rings are still in the process of being worked out, so this will suffice for now. Aš tavė myliu mano Dark Lady!

At the top of a centuries old belfry, overlooking the entire city of Vilnius, I asked Vaida to spend the rest of her life with me, and as you know by now, she said yes. In retrospect, I could not have planned just how perfect the moment was, and I might even concede it was more romantic than a hot air balloon. It combined a spectacular view (somewhat hard to come by in relatively flat Lietuva), ancient beauty, our love, and academia. We could not be happier, and I am glad to finally say everything is official, and it is time for the world to know how serious our love is. It has not been easy to make it last the long distances, and we know life won't always be easy ahead, but we are ready to face that challenge together.

I hope you haven't minded wading through my romanic musings, we will return to your normally scheduled programming next week with news of our weekend trip to the Baltic Sea with her family.

Us again, atop St. John's Church Belfry, Vilnius, Lithuania

Posted from: Grigeskies District, Vilnius, Lithuania